Fools choose to believe, others just choose and believe. When is it too late to be a fool?
.......
It is a familiarity that transcends reason: you have experienced it before, although you can't possibly have. Something longing something fonder. Insert the appropriate obsession.
It has been told in movies, described within novels, ripened legends and myths, inspired songs for millennia, molded almost every adolescence with an idle luxury for imagination. Surely, you must recognize it.
Someone once told me that the first love is the only love. You'll spend the rest of your life attempting to recreate it.
An ignorant heart can paint even darkest skies with rainbows. Or perhaps novelty just sweetens the dullest gestures. A combination of both, I suppose, can create the best puppy love. But you'll only get to use it once. Time and reality are the two daggers that will murder every naiveness you have.
I still think that all this is wrong. I still want to be the fool. Even when life wrinkles my smile. For what else is worthy enough to move on to?
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Finally Free
From the dark lonely I flee.
Hide away, poor startled soul,
a decrepit shell powerless and cold.
A secret pleasure takes it toll,
years of solitude I stole.
In quiet pillows screams of pain,
tears clawing the violin in my brain.
Ugly dreams roused my sleep,
I learnt that even sweat, shouts and shrieks.
Fall through winter, heart's asleep,
it finds comfort in the snow and sleet.
Pure white crestfallen from heaven,
friend of mine, Melancholy,
froze the deep winter asleep.
Why clench the cruel past?
Ruler I am, in a kingdom of none.
Why shy from other souls?
I carry a baggage from which people shun.
Why fear when others extol?
Too bright a sun can be hateful to behold.
Damn the propensities! Damn the cold!
From the dark lonely I flee.
One day I will finally be free.
Hide away, poor startled soul,
a decrepit shell powerless and cold.
A secret pleasure takes it toll,
years of solitude I stole.
In quiet pillows screams of pain,
tears clawing the violin in my brain.
Ugly dreams roused my sleep,
I learnt that even sweat, shouts and shrieks.
Fall through winter, heart's asleep,
it finds comfort in the snow and sleet.
Pure white crestfallen from heaven,
friend of mine, Melancholy,
froze the deep winter asleep.
Why clench the cruel past?
Ruler I am, in a kingdom of none.
Why shy from other souls?
I carry a baggage from which people shun.
Why fear when others extol?
Too bright a sun can be hateful to behold.
Damn the propensities! Damn the cold!
From the dark lonely I flee.
One day I will finally be free.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
A distant hope
5am and woken to a pulsating despair.
Yet another dream that he did not want. Not a nightmare, he's certain. Or so he tells himself. But enough anger and fear were mixed in that his emotions were stirred.
He wishes for a reality that only his mind can afford. But he always wakes up just when it starts to sweeten. He begins to think that life, like his dreams, take on this pattern. Like a carrot dangling before a famished mind.
5am. Birds always chirp at 5am. They must have a large carrot.
Yet another dream that he did not want. Not a nightmare, he's certain. Or so he tells himself. But enough anger and fear were mixed in that his emotions were stirred.
He wishes for a reality that only his mind can afford. But he always wakes up just when it starts to sweeten. He begins to think that life, like his dreams, take on this pattern. Like a carrot dangling before a famished mind.
5am. Birds always chirp at 5am. They must have a large carrot.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Silent Night
Warm air slips into the room, kindling the sleeplessness that lies on the pillow. Another lonely night in the confines of his tiny room. He consoles himself with the cushy bed.
"Hey, at least I get to do whatever I want."
He finds warmth only in the balmy summer air. The heavy air suffocates his thoughts. An uncertain reverie pulls the consciousness away from his troubled life.
"Hey, at least I get to do whatever I want."
He finds warmth only in the balmy summer air. The heavy air suffocates his thoughts. An uncertain reverie pulls the consciousness away from his troubled life.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Simple Pleasures
Often experienced:
Being in the Shade on a hot day.
An email from a friend far away.
A soft pillow and the scent of fresh sheets.
The fur of a cat or dog against your shin.
Serenity of a lake at 6am in the morning.
The snooze button.
Sunday naps.
Recently discovered:
A juicy pear at the end of a run.
Being in the Shade on a hot day.
An email from a friend far away.
A soft pillow and the scent of fresh sheets.
The fur of a cat or dog against your shin.
Serenity of a lake at 6am in the morning.
The snooze button.
Sunday naps.
Recently discovered:
A juicy pear at the end of a run.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
I think I can
I ...
am a hypocrite but sometimes I try to be humble.
am rude but I usually try to be polite.
ask questions which people don't always want to hear, only to have their offence remind me of my etiquette.
have extremely intelligent colleauges who make me feel worthless from time to time.
waste away most of my day but I want people to think that I am somewhat productive.
hate reading but I do it because I want to reap its benefits. I love to know more, but I'm lazy to find out.
never had a close friend even though I've always wanted one.
love my family but I see them only for a month each year.
cannot remember the last time I laughed because I was happy.
love my dog and the day of his death still haunts me today.
hate to lose so I avoid confrontation.
am socially inept: inconsiderate, loud, careless, irrelevant, aggravating. I think I will be my worst social encounter if I hadn't already met myself.
don't know the purpose of my life even though I think about it all the time.
But I am foolish enough to think that I can change all these.
am a hypocrite but sometimes I try to be humble.
am rude but I usually try to be polite.
ask questions which people don't always want to hear, only to have their offence remind me of my etiquette.
have extremely intelligent colleauges who make me feel worthless from time to time.
waste away most of my day but I want people to think that I am somewhat productive.
hate reading but I do it because I want to reap its benefits. I love to know more, but I'm lazy to find out.
never had a close friend even though I've always wanted one.
love my family but I see them only for a month each year.
cannot remember the last time I laughed because I was happy.
love my dog and the day of his death still haunts me today.
hate to lose so I avoid confrontation.
am socially inept: inconsiderate, loud, careless, irrelevant, aggravating. I think I will be my worst social encounter if I hadn't already met myself.
don't know the purpose of my life even though I think about it all the time.
But I am foolish enough to think that I can change all these.
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