Range - View from Sulphur Mountain, Banff.
Who do we consider our friends: people who care about us or whom we can get along? One condition does not strictly guarantee the other. We sometimes find ourselves having to tolerate our friends when one of these two conditions are starkly absent. But tolerate we do, if only to sustain a lazy habit, or subjugate to peer pressure.
I've seldom sought new friendships, even though I like meeting new people. Meeting new faces erases the tiring recurrence of bad habits and social bullying. Perhaps this is why I like traveling. It affords a temporary escape from my habits. But, I digress. This, after all, is a blog.
I've only come to realize the influence friends exert on my life. I start to behave more like them, or less like them, but never unchanged. I tend to either strongly agree, sometimes without reason, or strongly disagree, usually with unthinking haste. The latter situation is nearly always a precursor to the end of an the friendship.
It is a compulsory struggle which bears upon me. I am strangely disturbed by my inability to stay constant, or to hazard a cliche: "stay true to myself", whatever "true" and "myself" may mean to the world. If my "true self" is merely a composite of past prejudices, should I accept influence of friendships as a personality gained from my history?
If we do become our friends, or take on some of their dominant qualities, should we not surround ourselves with positive people whom we can get along? Which brings us back to my first question: what about our friends whom we care about but exhibit very negative personalities? After all, friendships are about "being there" and "support" and other terms which go well with Saturday morning cartoons. Maybe we should also grow such a positivism in ourselves, so that our more negative friends can benefit from.
Unless, of course, they are the sort who dislike optimism or constructive opinions. After all, who likes to be told what to do, in this new liberal age?
If these don't work, we can always go with what is most convenient. But to think that we spend so much of our time worrying about our career, our future and finances, should we not devote attention to picking our friends who decide the our personality?
Tough choices with no single solution for every situation.
The mountain range we have to adventure continues into the horizon, with the setting sun blinding our eyes temporarily from the discouragement of the majestic view.
1 comment:
Going places? :)
Choosing friends.. I reckon that's usually more of a subconscious reaction, stemming from a need for self-protection, rather than an active approach to target the people you want to be friends with. After all, sometimes it's painfully obvious when so-called friends are toxic influences with so-called friendships being of no mutual benefit. There's no enjoyment in each other's company, and naturally, the "friendship" dies off.
But at the same time, nobody is constant. Everyone goes through ups and downs, and I guess that's where a friendship exhibits its true value. Countering one's negativity with much-needed positivity whenever it's needed. And as always, it's not the quantity, but the quality that counts.
Post a Comment